The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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