He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
