i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
