She went from zero to smokin in five shots
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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