Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
