Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
