i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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