Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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