I can feel you judging me through the phone.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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