she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
