Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
