I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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