Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
