My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
