Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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