Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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