Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize