It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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