You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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