Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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