She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
