Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize