I heard we made out
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
