Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
