Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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