WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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