He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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