He kissed a someone with a penis
so let's talk penis.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
