Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
