he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
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I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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