you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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