if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
