I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
