Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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