I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
