I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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