just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
