none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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