I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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