I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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