this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
