i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
