I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
