shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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