Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I puked a lego.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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