from now on my penis is your penis
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
