bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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