Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
