I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
