About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
