hotel room ftw
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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