Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sober January is a disaster.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
