i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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