She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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