She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize