walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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