she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize